On Personal Branding

Last week Jen Hatmaker vulnerably shared her pain in response to what she called, “The Christian Machine” taking her down after she came out of the closet affirming same-sex marriage as holy. That is its own nightmare and not the one I’m tackling today because I don’t yet have gracious words for the Machine, whoever they are.

But the ensuing conversation regarding Personal Branding has been fascinating to me. Jen said in her article that she was seen as a brand and not as a human being. Then other famous Christians, like Beth Moore in her blog today, chimed in agreeing. I’m not a famous Christian. So maybe what I’m missing is this element of understanding what it is for thousands and thousands of people to be aware of and have a response to what I’m personally saying.

But what I am is a marketing consultant. I’ve sat across from many men and women, pastors and teachers, singers and writers, activists and nonprofits, trying to launch a thing, trying to share an idea and for some of them, that idea is the gospel. Every one of these people I’ve sat across from has incredible trepidation about stepping into process with me for what the industry calls, “Personal Branding.”

And here’s what I tell everyone of them: It’s not about you. If it were about you, I would be able to tell and so would your followers and we would all have already sniffed you out.

Your idea is not about you. Your social platforms aren’t about you. You aren’t even about you. You are about this idea, and for some of you, the idea being the transforming life of Jesus.  If you back down or hide or stay quiet or give up, we lose. The ubiquitous “all of us” who need your voice.

So when the Machine, whoever that is, says “Brand” you should replace this with the word, “Ethos.”  Your brand is simply the essence of who you are. Brand is not sales. Brand is not money. Brand is not theology. Brand is ethos, which Wikipedia says “is a Greek word meaning ‘character’ that is used to describe the guiding beliefs or ideals that characterize a community, nation, or ideology.”

Your ethos includes all of you, as a person. The same way the ethos of a company includes all of it. The great brands show us this over and over: Apple, Southwest, Target. We feel like we “get” these brands in ways we don’t really “get” other brands. And there is a reason for this; these brands are driven out of values, out of ethos, out of their why. As Simon Sinek says here, “People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it.” The ethos is most evident and understandable for those people and organizations who are strong at the core, who know who they really are in the deep deep places and bring it all to the table in a way we can understand and digest. Across mediums. Across time. Mediums change. Good communication doesn’t.

Social media is one of the places people and organizations use to communicate. But don’t be confused; social media is not an alternate universe. It is one of the worlds within the world. And if you are all about you, we will sniff you out. If you are a jerk in real life, you will be a jerk on social media. If you are a perfectionist in real life, you will be a perfectionist online.

Everyone thinks social media is the place everyone goes to “fake it.” But why do you think we all think that? Because we can totally tell when someone is faking it. Just like in real life. Just like if you were in my living room giving your kid the silent cross stare instead of confronting them out loud because you want to maintain the image of the perfect family without conflict. I can see it on Facebook just like I can see it in my living room. Fake is fake. Posers are posers. This is not your brand. This is who you actually are.

But obviously there is a difference between me, regular working mom with a few friends on my platforms and, let’s say, Jen Hatmaker, who has a gazillion friends across all the platforms. Jen is sharing her life, the parts she so chooses, just like the rest of us, with a much larger AUDIENCE. This is why she starts to feel like a brand instead of a human. She is sharing chosen parts of herself with thousands and thousands of people whose living rooms she’ll never sit in. And yet, she has made her way into their hearts. That is the brilliance of social media. It bypasses face to face encounters for an expanded reach.

But Jen isn’t famous because she has a kick ass brand but because she shows up and says the her truth quite often. This is the essence of who she is. Honest. Bold. Don’t give a lot of shits. Jesus lover. Learner mindset. I’ve read her books, seen her speak in person, follow her on social. Her essence was the same in every medium.  Good communicators transcend mediums. She will come across well on TV, podcasts, etc. Jen’s a communicator. That’s her job. That’s how she makes money.

She’s relatable. And even though I’ll never be in her living room, I feel like we’d get along famously. And so do about one million other women. She is well loved. She is lovable. It’s her ethos, not her brand.  Because there are many other Christian women who I don’t feel like I get at all or would get me at all. Even though our ideology is probably pretty similar on many important and meaningful things, we don’t click. Just like real life.

Jen, don’t lose sight of this. You are an evolving person. And your personhood, not your brand (made up) is exposed to us all. When you fall down or flip someone off (figuratively of course), we see it. Some of us love it. Some of us don’t. But that doesn’t make you a brand. You are a human being. And we can smell your intentions a thousand miles away and certainly through our screens and devices. I personally love it. I feel like you have given some folks who needed it permission to be still figuring it out, still navigating, still pissed off and still overjoyed and slightly hysterical. Nobody owns your personhood. Nobody owns your marriage or your kids or your journey. You get to mess up or change your mind or God bless be in a bad mood. We aren’t going to leave you because you aren’t a brand. You are a person. We are into you.

But please don’t confuse personal branding, which I would say is really just core defining, personhood development work, with the Machine. Integrated living is the work of mature adults. I know this because my therapist told me so. But it’s also a lifelong journey and when we experience big shifts in our ethos which will absolutely happen for growing and evolving people, whether you are famous or not, the people with exposure to you and access to you are going to feel it and have a reaction. What you do with that is up to you. But don’t back down. Don’t go away. Don’t get smaller. Don’t get quieter. Even in your confusion, you are giving us direction. Which is to say, you don’t have it all figured out, and neither do we and what a fucking relief that is.